15 February 2013
Block 123 Cover Road
#12-345
S123456
Mobile: +65 12345678
Email Address: mailmail@hotmail.com
HR manager
Human Resource Department
Inland Revenue Authority of Singapore
55 Newton Road, Revenue House
S307987
Dear Hiring Manager
Application for
position of Senior Tax Officer (Enforcement Officer)
I am
writing to express my interest as a Senior Tax Officer (Enforcement Division)
with the Inland Revenue Authority of Singapore (IRAS) after attending your
recruitment fair at the National University of Singapore(NUS). I am expected to graduate from NUS with a 2nd
Lower Class Honours in Bioengineering in May 2013 . I am keen to start work as a
Senior Tax officer in IRAS as it is a reputable government body that overseas
the tax management in Singapore.
As
an engineering graduate, I have honed my analytical skills through the various
projects and modules I have taken through my stint in NUS. My analytical mind
and leadership qualities have rendered my team a constant A in design projects
and group projects. Also, I am proud to be a good logistics personnel in my
team projects as I keep track of project progress and project documents in an
organized manner. I have also ventured to study modules outside of my line of
discipline so that I will be an all-rounder. These modules
have aided in improving my verbal and non verbal skills making me an effective
communicator in the workplace.
During
my stint with IRAS on 3 occasions, I have worked with various departments that
includes the Individual Income Tax (IIT) Department, the Property Tax
Department and the Good and Services Tax Department (GST). I worked as a
customer service officer under the GST refund scheme in Changi Airport and I
have a Changi Aiport Group(CAG) certificate on customer service. My stint in
IRAS taught me the computation of taxes and customer service etiquettes that I believe will be pertinent for the position of Senior Tax Officer(Enforcement Officer).
Apart from academics, I also volunteer actively. Recently,
I joined the Singapore Indian Developememt Association(SINDA) under a programme
called the Sinda Young Leader’s Programme(SYLP). This programme allowed me to
improve my leadership skills in a national level. As a team, my group in the
programme spearheaded a carnival for children with Autism that saw a turnout of
150 Indians and Non Indians. I believe that these experiences will help me to
become a better person in the workplace and the society.
I thank
you for your time to review my application. I enclose my resume for your
consideration. I look forward to a face-to-face interview with you to discuss
my suitability for this position. I can be contacted at 12345678 or mailmail@hotmail.com at your
convenience.
Yours
sincerely,
Saraswathy(Ms)
Hi Saras,
ReplyDeleteI think you can limit the use of starting your sentences with "I", especially in the second paragrpah.Instead, you can try to rephrase your sentences to generate a smoother flow.
Also, you have used the word 'stint" more than once, I believe you will be able to find another word to replace it. :)
As you are describing your work experience, maybe you can elaborate more on what you have done as a customer service officer to emphasise on the fact that you have received the CAG certificate on customer service as it looks good to receive such a certificate.
Hope it helps!
Cheers
Selena
hey
ReplyDeleteI agree with selena's comments about you starting alot of sentences with "I". It sounds fine initially but after awhile sounds slightly awkward. for example you may want to try "My stint with IRAS on 3 occassions have allowed me to work in ... " instead of "During my stint with IRAS on 3 occasions, I have worked with various departments".
apart from that I feel that what you have achieved so far (attachments and volunteering wise) have put you in an excellent positon for this job.
you might want to add what you like about working at IRAS and how it fits your values/personality etc.
weiting
Hi Saras!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, good job on the application letter. i think you have met most of the requirement of the 7C's. I think overall it is a good letter.
Some improvements that i may suggest is perhaps in your letter, if you would like to, you could tell the company how you can add value to the company should they hire you. Another possible improvements could be to summarize all of your strengths and skills in a short paragraph near the end of the letter.
But nonetheless, good job on the first draft of your application letter.
All the best Saras!
Hi Saras!
ReplyDeleteI have to admit, I was slightly overwhelmed with the number of “I”s in this letter! But I do like that you wrote a slightly elaborated letter explaining how your prior experience with IRAS would make you a better candidate than the other applicants.
I was just wondering though, if it would be better to just write “Honours in Bioengineering” instead of stating the class? I don’t mean to be rude, though, I am sorry if I do!
Another good point about your cover letter is that you highlighted your passion and involvement in community service as well. This would show that you are an all rounded individual with a gracious heart of service!
Overall your cover letter was very impressive and left a positive note on me! All the best with your application!
Wenlin (: